The Spammer in Chief

Baghdad Bob may as well be POTUS

I have been inundated lately with emails from "President Obama", and despite my efforts to block them, they just keep on coming. One, sent from a surrogate but signed "Barack", prompted me to respond in my best, respectful rebuttal possible, and even asked to be removed from the mailing list, stating in no uncertain terms my political proclivities.

When that attempt failed, I marked subsequent electronic correspondence as "spam". Still they get through. So I decided that perhaps public ridicule might ultimately put an end to any further attempts to propagandize me.

So I will now post the latest email in original form, italicized, with my running rebuttal in normal font. It will either free me from further annoyances at the hands of the White House, or will get me on a no-fly list. (And, of course, allow me to counter the ridiculous claims of "progress" as running commentary).

Friend --

This time of year, Americans around the country are taking the time to exchange heartfelt messages with friends and loved ones, reflecting on the past year. They write of achievements and setbacks, of births, graduations, promotions, and moves.

These messages allow us to overcome the miles that separate us. And they allow us to continue one of the most basic American traditions that has held folks close for centuries -- the simple sharing of stories.

And as families gather around holiday tables this season, we also have the opportunity to share the stories of the change this movement has achieved together.

It is a narrative woven by individuals across America -- in big cities and small towns, hospitals and classrooms, in auto manufacturing plants and auto supply stores.

OK, you had me going there for a second. Like a Louis Farrakhan sermon, you opened with a fine message, but equally rivaling Louie, it quickly went down hill. Um, Mr. President? As families gather around holiday tables this season, there will certainly be shared stories of your handiwork, of that I have no doubt. As a general rule, though, "achievement" is usually associated with the positive. In your case, that is not so.

These are stories of rebuilding, and of innovation. Stories of communities breathing new life into old roads and bridges, of local plants harnessing alternative fuel into new energy. Stories of small businesses getting up, dusting themselves off, and beginning to grow again. Stories of soldiers who served multiple tours of duty in Iraq now coming home -- and enjoying the holidays this year in the company of loved ones.

These are stories of progress.

They unite us, and they are ours to share.

I have no idea of what is being rebuilt, but if you mean our great nation is being "reconstructed", on that point we can agree. As for innovation, Mr. President? Innovation is discouraged by your regime, strangled in the cradle by burdensome regulations and suffocating scrutiny. And please give one example of a small business, any small business, dusting themselves off and growing. 

Regarding the returning soldiers enjoying being home for the holidays, I will have to take your word on that, as your New World media only sees fit to report when an American soldier "abuses" an enemy warrior. Feel-good reporting is a thing of the past where our military is concerned.

The reforms that we fought long and hard for are not talking points.

And their effects don't change based on the whims of politicians in Washington. They are achievements that have a real and meaningful impact on the lives of Americans around the country. They are achievements that would not have been possible without you. PROGRESS localizes them -- and brings them to life.  

Again, Sir, I cannot make it any clearer that I am not a supporter, nor did I fight for any of your reforms. I fought against them, only to be ignored. The vast majority of the electorate has likewise been ignored as your agenda has rolled inexorably forward much akin to a Tienanmen Square tank, slowed only by the Tea Party movement. That movement, I might add, was at the root of your opposition and not the "whims of politicians in Washington". Some of them still do listen to the People.

It tells of how a green technology business in Phoenix, Arizona, is using a grant through the Recovery Act's Transportation Electrification program to bring the first electric-drive vehicles and charging stations to cities around the country.

Mr. President, precisely what is it that you think generates electricity? Do really purport to claim that these electric vehicles, dependent on traditional fuel sources to provide their charges, will be better for the planet? And are you really still attaching your agenda to the crumbling global warming bandwagon? Please, strike me from your mailing list, OK?

It tells how, thanks to closing the "donut hole" in prescription drug coverage, a diabetic woman in Burlington, Vermont will no longer have to choose between purchasing her monthly groceries or the insulin she needs to survive.

 That's actually a pretty good one. It leaves me wondering if her nutritional choices would lead to an exclusion in the new Obama Care plan, where Michelle may deem her unfit for benefits due to poor diet.

It tells about how 136,000 Pennsylvania residents' jobs were saved or created by the Recovery Act.

How what? Wait a minute! What the hell does that even mean?  I tried to ignore the earlier reference to the Recovery Act, but no, you couldn't let it go. OK. What did the Recovery Act actually do, Mr. President? What was "recovered"? Certainly, no argument can be made that our anemic economy has recovered. No proof can be offered that a single job has been saved. And to have the temerity to use the word "created"? Really?!?

And about how, thanks to the Affordable Care Act, 22,900 small businesses in Utah's 2nd Congressional District are now eligible for health care tax credits -- and how 17,500 residents in Idaho's 1st with pre-existing conditions can no longer be denied coverage.

There are thousands more stories like these.

In the coming days, as we gather with our loved ones at dinner tables around the nation, let's pass them on. Let's celebrate the spirit of service and responsibility that brought them to fruition. And let's steady ourselves with the resolve to continue pressing forward.

With one last breath - or stroke on my keyboard, as the case may be - I beseech thee to cease and desist from these insidious emails. I can say with great conviction that this holiday season, as my family gathers at the dinner table, we will be passing on little more than meat and vegetables. (Please put in a good word with Michelle, won't you?)

Our conversation, however, will center more on grabbing the line, digging in our heels, and resisting your pressing "forward", by pulling with all of our might until more can arrive to grab the line and help not only slow your "forward progress", but to ultimately reverse its course.

Of special note, this odd disclaimer was at the bottom of each intrusion:

Paid for and authorized by the Democratic National Committee, www.democrats.org.
This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

Democratic National Committee, 430 S. Capitol St. SE, Washington, DC 20003

Contributions or gifts to the Democratic National Committee are not deductible as charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes.

"Paid for and authorized..." , how much did our government spend on free email???


       

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