God Speaks To Gore

God Speaks To GoreFebruary 26th, 2008
Al Gore certainly won’t debate or discuss his insane notions of man’s effect on the planet with anyone who doubts him, so God has decided to tell Gore directly that he’s dead wrong. Coming straight from the top, as it were, should be recognized as an admonishment that we are not nearly as significant as we dream, but I’d still wager that the message will fall on deaf ears and blind eyes.

He’s been trying, God has, with subtle little messages like snowing on a global warming protest to gently nudge Gore, et al, to tone it down a bit. He’s been sending signals that He alone controls what happens here, not we mere children of His, but He finds Himself increasingly forced to use ever more blunt signs. He shakes His head slowly; we’re so dense. I hope He doesn’t resort to the practice some frustrated, terrible parents do of shaking more than His own head!

There are articles like this one beginning to make the rounds and, proving that He even loves the Godless commies in China, he has not left them out of His example. And, just to show that He has a Supreme sense of Humor, He has even included places like Afghanistan to deliver this message.

The message should be clear: “AL! THIS IS THE LORD! SHUT UP, ALREADY!!” My biggest fear is that Gore’s relentless goading of God will really piss the Big Guy off because, as George Carlin once mused (and I take literary liberty here), Is God so all powerful that he can create so much snow that He Himself can’t shovel it? What happens then?

We could be in for a long, cold, bleak winter. I just hope I can save enough money for one of those really cool “snow-cats” that Scatman Cruthers drove to his ultimate demise in The Shining. If Gore and his ilk don’t stop, God may show off.
-Woody

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