Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Fido's Gotta Go

I can't wait for PETA to get wind of this. The most beloved and protected animals on the face of the Earth are now in the cross hairs of the Global Warming nuts, and we're being told that their very existence is going to kill us all. That's right kids, your pet doggie will not flip out and suddenly attack you when you're preoccupied...he is clandestinely killing you with his poo, and you're too dumb to notice.

According to a new "study" by a husband and wife author team, pet dogs are twice as likely than sport utility vehicles (SUV's) to harm our environment. New Zealanders Robert and Brenda Vale have published a book entitled "Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living". In this marvelous tome (which admittedly I have not bothered to read) they describe the peril of owning pet dogs and - to a lesser degree - cats.

SUV's have been around for perhaps several decades. Anyone care to take a stab at how long pets have existed? Anyone? I don't either, but I do recall something about Cleopatra and a pet asp. I wonder how toxic snakes are to our planetary atmosphere.

In this age of technology, with the wonders of Google Earth, we can take a giant step back and view our planet from the perspective of God, so we might think. (I am not one to be so presumptuous, but I think my point is made). We have the capacity now to view our planet from afar at the grace of NASA and our tax dollars, and the Google kids for their intuitive entrepreneurial spirit. What we see in these screenshots - and when contrasted with the size of the largest city on the planet - is an exercise in hubris the likes of which is unfathomable.

I beseech thee, go and see. When even the most intellectually challenged among us sees and grasps the magnitude of the planets girth, and then - as is the wont of the human brain - automatically calculates the scale of humanity's presence as a percentage of the Earths surface, the first question that should arise in the most fertile of minds is how it could be possible for such a minute entity to wreak such damage.

The Enviros want us to stop driving. They want us to stop breathing. They want us to desist from existing and now they want our dogs to die. How odd that they advocate the consumption of these lovable companions while simultaneously condemning the same treatment for animals that were traditionally considered food. Is it possible that I could be alone in my shock?

How far down this treacherous road will we ride? How much manure can we ingest? At what point do we - as a people - say enough is enough?

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Edisto Joe said...

Merry Christmas! I just heard this report on Fox News and choked on my coffee from laughing so hard. I guess I'll have to load up my 12 ga. shotgun and shoot the family dog. Then take a stroll through the neighborhood for other targets. I know for sure I'll take out that SOB German Shepard that always gets in the trash. My conscience is clean now because I'm doing it to save the planet. What kind of idiot would waste their time calculating the enviromental impact from pets and their food sources. Fido wants meat in his diet and if he dosen't get it he just might have to turn on his master.

Woody said...

Merry Christmas back at ya, EJ!

I was fortunate enough to have an empty mouth when I read this on Yahoo News the other day, but my reaction was the same. First my jaw nearly hit my keyboard and then I began letting out high-pitched yelps of laughter.