Monday, December 8, 2008

Gitmo Guys Say Hurry Up

They're in a hurry to die now, those poor, misunderstood souls. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who has already told interrogators he was the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, and five co-defendants are getting bored with the time it takes to afford them due process and want to plead guilty now.

The idea is to speed their convictions and expedite their expected executions, thereby making martyrs of them all. According to AP:

The five said they decided on Nov. 4, the day President-elect Barack Obama was elected to the White House, to abandon all defenses against the capital charges. It was as if they wanted to rush toward convictions before the inauguration of Obama, who has vowed to end the war-crimes trials and close Guantanamo.

I cannot vouch for the accuracy of it, but I have heard that being executed while in the captivity of the infidel precludes one from martyrdom and therefore, the virgins. Since we can't be sure of the rule on this, however - as if terrorists actually had rules - I have a better idea.

Let's announce to the world that these five "gentlemen" squealed like - pardon the expression - pigs and told us all kinds of juicy stuff. Then, let them go back to their comrades unceremoniously. Let them then attempt to explain that they really told us nothing. It worked for old-time cops in the movies way back when. The perp would beg not to be let go so easily. My guess is that they would be tortured in earnest by their own pals to find out what they told us. Such irony would make Shakespear blush and Stephen King curse.

Can't you just see Khalid Sheikh Mohammed begging bin Laden to put underwear on his head, or forcing him to participate in a naked, human pyramid?

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