Suddenly Woke Up Minor

If someone had told me 40 years ago that I would one day become a member of the minority in America, I never would have believed them, not in a million years. The very doctrines on which I was reared always seemed to be too steeped in abundant common sense to face any form of serious challenge, and yet here I am, all these years later, contemplating a future of sign-making and protest-marching.

These are acts I have witnessed and sneered at for most of my adult life for the simple reason that I considered them to be colossal wastes of time. Well, wipe the egg off of my face, because it seems that the ink and cardboard that has been used by folks formerly in the minority have ultimately paid for themselves.

I'm not talking about racial minorities here, in case that was the first impression I gave in the opening. What I'm talking about are the people who believe in the misguided notion that the more one hates America, the more they actually love it; people who are absolutely certain that the Founding Fathers of America agree with their own convoluted perceptions of what made this country great, all the while cheering that they have finally succeeded in correcting, once and for all, the heinous injustices that those very founders created.

I must give credit where credit is due, however. The left has been tenacious in its pursuit of its perceived vision of Utopia and has relentlessly hammered most of the formerly sane into submission. So here I find myself now, standing in a clearing and exhaling plumes of steam in the cold, wondering if "they" are watching from the edge of the forest, trying to figure my next move. I don't mind telegraphing such, though; I will gladly tell them what I plan.

I plan to begin to promote the Free Speech Alliance, for starters. I must admit that I find a delicious irony in the fact that someone like me will be advocating for free speech, which is something I always took for granted. Even more ironic is the reality that my new foes are people who have laid claim to fighting for and "championing" that very thing, even as they now scheme to silence the medium that has helped me maintain a glimmer of hope against their rising tide.

As the liberal democrats prepare for their coming monopoly on all things legislative, they are resurrecting the "Fairness Doctrine". If they have their way, we conservatives will be relegated to the same stature of former Radio Free Europe consumers, hiding in our shelters, trying desperately to tune into voices of reason on short-wave sets, cocking our heads like the Victrola Dog as we strain to hear through the frequency modulations. Ah, visions of bread lines dance in my head.

I don't know if Newt Gingrich, The Heritage Foundation, et al, have considered this tactic, but I would ask this simple question: if congress wants to ensure "fairness" on the public airwaves, does that mean that every evening newscast with Charles Gibson, for example, will be co-piloted by Rush Limbaugh, or Mike Gallagher? Will The View be required to empanel Laura Ingraham or Monica Crowley on a daily basis? Will Good Morning America be forced to pay Mark Levin or Glenn Beck to appear on the show every morning?

Fairness is a brass ring that already exists. It is evident in the opportunity presented, but not guaranteed to succeed. Liberal voices have had the chance and have failed. The people vote with their radios, and the left has lost embarrassingly. The only recourse is to change the rules. That, I will fight as best I can, even if it means engaging in the dreaded protest march.

Where are my crayons?

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