Monday, October 18, 2010

Of Sound Mind to Drive

Based solely upon President Obama's recent psychiatric evaluation of you, the electorate, I made the snap decision to write slowly so that at least some of you poor louts could grasp the words. Then again, my own intellectual acumen becomes questionable by the very nature of a silly belief that you will read them as slowly as I wrote them.

Hey, it's not my fault. I used to be real smart, it's just that now I'm scared, and I'm not wired to think clearly when in this state of fear. Obama said so. And it's not your fault either, dear reader. Which leads me to wonder about a few things. Prepare to disengage Warp Drive kids, we're about to go really  s l o w...

Just to lay the ground work here, you know, so you can follow along - since I have no big pictures to show you after every thought - let's start with Obama's endless metaphors of the proverbial car in the ditch. (Just for decorum and a modicum of respect for the deceased, we'll leave Ted Kennedy out of this one). Obama has been using this comparison as proof that Republicans wrecked the economy and left him and his cohorts to rescue it, or the car.

Well okay, let's just say that George W. Bush was not as frugal as we'd have preferred, but how bad was the damage, really? Less than half a trillion dollars, that's how bad, and after eight years in office. Now the deficit is triple that amount, and we have nothing to show for it, much less any hope of ever seeing anything for it. I'm reminded of the inexperienced driver who, when caught in an ice patch or a mud hole, incorrectly uses the false logic that more power will do the trick in extricating their vehicle from the predicament.

The Democrats' agenda - fueled by the urgent teleprompter-induced rhetoric of Barack Obama - has been to step on the gas and move as quickly as possible. All they have managed to do is bury the car deeper in the ditch. As the people yell at them from the street, beseeching them to stop!, they laugh and wave dismissively at us, saying we're just frightened by the engine's noise.

Yeah, that's and me, the Neanderthal Right, frightened by fire and round things, like the Wheel.

The sad truth is this; we're not frightened, we're damned angry. The Democrats are the ones who are scared, and they are, as a result, not thinking clearly. If I was to pit my layman's psych evaluation against the President's, I'd say the Democrats were projecting their own fear.

I'd go further, suggesting that they are delusional and psychopathic in their governance since 2007. One usually expects to see employees willfully disregard the instructions of their employers when it involves the UAW or the SEIU, but last I checked, Congress or the Executive branch was still non-union.

Truth be told, I've been so terrified for my nation lately, I may have missed those particular bargaining sessions on C-SPAN. But it is my anger, as I suspect may be the same for many of you, that has kept me from flipping out like a claustrophobic in a coffin. And as the light of November 2nd draws nearer, and the air smells fresher, my frazzled nerves quiver less and my breathing becomes less labored.

And my thinking resumes its former state, released from the grip of horror. Heck, before you know it, I'll even understand every word of those rapid-fire legal disclaimers at the end of commercials.

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Edisto Joe said...

Great post! Your analogy of stuck in the mud and spinning tires is exactly what the Dems are doing to the country. OK, so they took the keys away from the Republicans and they started driving. There was just one problem...they were drunk.
They put the car in a ditch, buried it in mud trying to get out and haven't sobered up yet! They will wake up November 3rd with one hell of a hangover!

Woody said...

So will I, EJ!

I usually take the day after a presidential election off. Not this year...I have the booze and the hors d'ourves all ready to go. It's gonna be an all-nighter!

Edisto Joe said...

The only difference is the feelings of remorse will be with the Democrats. You may have a headache but it will be nothing compared to the gut wrenching, comode hugging, hell the liberals will face.