Sunday, June 28, 2009

Billy Mays And The Carbon Card

There you are, just you and the missus, cruising along in your RV, enjoying retirement and the freedom of travelling the country side. But just as you're about to cross the Utah state line, the RV shuts down. Oh no, you've used up all of your carbon output allowance for the day! What to do?

Don't worry, now there's the government approved Carbon Card! Yes, for only $10,000, you'll no longer have to worry about being stranded in the desert overnight. Simply whip out your refillable Carbon Card, call the EPA and you can purchase the rights to continue polluting the air! But don't feel guilty about it because you've paid the government for the right, and they will use that money to build a turtle tunnel under the interstate, or learn of the interesting mating habits of the Alaskan halibut!

So call today to receive your Carbon Card from the EPA and stop pushing your vehicle to your final destination. And if you call in the next eight minutes, you can purchase two Carbon Cards for the remarkable price of only $9,995 plus shipping and handling. And remember, it's not how much you pollute, it's how much you pay for it that counts. Call today at 1-800-NOT-CLEAN.

(Also works for boats, planes and regular SUV's!)

*This is not a guarantee that EPA operators will be available on weekends or nights.
**May not work in some red states.
***Void where prohibited by Michael Moore or Cheryl Crow.

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